I’m on a roll. I keep saying this and I will keep saying this: I am not an Obamabot. Nope. However, there is no way — and I mean NO WAY — I would ever, ever check a box next to a GOP candidate at any level. Here’s an example. A friend called and asked me if I would vote for Richard Tisei (Republican) or John Tierney up on the North Shore of Massachusetts. When I replied that I’d vote for Tierney, her response was “But Tisei is gay and supports same-sex marriage.” My response was, “So fucking what?” Frankly, John Tierney is a 100% positive gay legislator and supports same-sex marriage too. I’m a lesbian and have been since the womb but, frankly, the fact that Tisei is gay and that he supports same-sex marriage is worthless within his party. As I’ve said a million times, there is no bigger oxymoron than a gay Republican (except for maybe a female Republican). I am not a one-issue voter, although I will admit that LGBT civil rights (for obvious reasons) is central to my political decisions.

We are now weeks away from the most critical election we’ve had in recent memory. Okay. Okay. I know I said that in 2008, but I could not fathom what a McCain-Palin administration would mean to this country. Likewise, I cannot imagine this nation under Romney and Ryan. In fact, this might even be scarier. We have just about 19 days to go. Here’s why you should wear a bag on your head to the polls if you intend to vote for the GOP ticket:

1. Unbridled Hypocrisy. I am sorry, but there’s nothing like the GOP for hypocrisy. A case in point is Tea Party boy Scott DesJarlais, who is both a doctor and a pro-life Republican congressman from Tennessee. Well, like many other politicians, Scott has a problem keeping it in his pants (maybe he should have been a priest instead). It seems that his pro-life positions only apply to his public life, not his private life. Huffington Post reported that DesJarlais pressured his mistress (and patient) to have an abortion when she became pregnant after several rolls in the hay with the good doctor. In fact, he admitted to this affair in an email and has now been hit with an ethics violation. Oops. He’s not only a hypocrite, but the’s also stupid. There’s no cure for that.

2. Your Presidential Candidate is a Pathological Liar. Mitt Romney lies with impunity. In fact, he lies about his lies. In the last debate, Mitt Romney managed to squeeze in that he doesn’t advocate for employers dictating a woman’s health care choices. That’s a lie. Why? Because he supported the Blunt Amendment. And that amendment, although it did not pass, would allow an employer to deny women coverage if it ran counter to their moral beliefs. Give me a break. Who is going to “police” that? They don’t call him Mr. Etch-A-Sketch for nothing.

He even lied during the debates, telling 27 lies in 38 minutes.  Is this the kind of president you want? Do you think he isn’t going to lie to his supporters? Come on, people. Stop sucking down the Kool Aid.

3. Your Presidential Candidate is the Human Chameleon. I remember Mitt Romney well as Governor of Massachusetts. I know that Massachusetts is the psychotic state. We tend to elect Republican governors, but our legislature is strongly Democratic. It’s just one of those political “things” about Massachusetts. So, when Mr. Romney was running here for Governor and challenging Ted Kennedy for the Senate seat, he was smart enough to support things like LGBT civil rights. Hell, he even vowed to turn Boston into a Rainbow City! Mr. Romney filled out a Planned Parenthood survey in 2002 and called himself a “moderate” who is strongly pro-choice.  His wife, Ann, donated to Planned Parenthood in 1994.

Oh, but today Mitt is running on the big stage and the GOP is owned by the crazies from the Christian right and the Tea Baggers. That means in order to win (and that’s all he damned well cares about) he has to pander to them in a big way. It’s all about winning with Mitt. He’s tried several times unsuccessfully. He’s now pulling out all the stops. He supports the personhood amendment, which would not only ban abortion but would also outlaw several forms of contraception and in vitro fertilization. He plans to defund Planned Parenthood if elected, an organization that spends only 3% of its budget on abortion services (and none of the money for abortion services comes from government funding), but spends the rest on preventative health care like cancer screenings and programs aimed at reducing the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. He has even expressed his desire to overturn Roe v. Wade. Sorry all you oxymoronic LGBT Republicans, Mitt Romney wants to write discrimination into the Constitution by passing an amendment banning same-sex marriage. Hell, he isn’t even going to support civil unions. Does that sound like the same guy who wanted to turn Boston into a Rainbow City? Nope. Not even close.

Bottom Line here people: Mitt Romney will do whatever it takes to move into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. You can be sure he’ll sell you out once he has your vote and has won, especially if you are earning less than $250K a hear. Because that’s how Romney defines the middle class: People earning $250K a year. Really? Because, factually speaking, the middle class is defined as earning one-fifth of that sum.

4. Your Vice Presidential Candidate is a Liar Also. Paul Ryan is a sniveling little liar, and he’s a fraud. When he was asked to show the public the math on the 20% across-the-board tax cut (in dollars, that’s $5 trillion), he said that he didn’t have time to go through all the math. Well, Mr. Ryan, make time. You owe the voting public that much. Like his boss, Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan knows that the math doesn’t add up. It’s as simple as that. He was repeatedly asked by Martha Raddatz during the vice presidential debate to show his plan. Instead of doing so, he responded by giving us his bipartisan bullshit lecture. The GOP wouldn’t know anything about bipartisanship. They have continually blocked legislation and have turned the filibuster into a national joke. In a pathetic effort to show how much the GOP cares about the poor and downtrodden, Ryan managed to “fake” a visit to a soup kitchen with his little wifey and family in tow. He’s a joke. It’s like the Brady Bunch gone bad.

5. Your Party Has Enough Crazies to Remake “One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.” Seriously. I couldn’t possibly list them all here, so I’ll just go with a few of the most nutty. Let’s start with Georgia Congressman Paul Broun, who says that evolution is a “lie straight from the pit of hell, and that the earth is only 9,000 years old. It’s not bad enough that this clown was actually elected to public office, but he also holds a seat on the Congressional Science, Space and Technology Committee. Here’s what he has to say:

“I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says.” 

For the record, the Bible doesn’t state the age of the earth. In fact, I postulate that nobody knows the exact age of the earth. But I do know one thing: In the modern age (meaning today), science knowledge is a critical need. There isn’t one thing that we need as a nation that doesn’t rely on science. We are constantly saying that our children need better education in the areas of math and science in order for us to keep up in the world. In Massachusetts, we have the MCAS test. Every student must pass in order to get a high school diploma. Science is one of the testing courses. If you can’t pass the basic science SAT, you shouldn’t be allowed on the Congressional committee. I’m pretty sure that Congressman Broun couldn’t pass gas, let alone a standardized science test.

How about Charlie Fuqua, candidate for the Arkansas House of Representatives? This clown wrote a book called “God’s Law: The Only Political Solution.” Yep. He’s the expert here. The Divine One must have come down and spoken directly to him because he appears to be the font of all knowledge. According to this nut case:

” The maintenance of civil order in society rests on the foundation of family discipline. Therefore, a child who disrespects his parents must be permanently removed from society in a way that gives an example to all other children of the importance of respect for parents. The death penalty for rebellious children is not something to be taken lightly. The guidelines for administering the death penalty to rebellious children are given in Deut 21:18-21.”

That’s what he wrote in his book. The death penalty can be administered for rebellious children. Fuqua insists that his views are well accepted by most people. Well, Charlie, I actually don’t think they are. You’re fucking nuts. It’s as simple as that. As for God’s law being the only political solution, I think not. Politics and religion don’t mix. There is this thing called the separation between church and state, and it exists for a reason. Religion is private. If you want to kill your kids, have at it. (But I suggest he ask Andrea Yates how that worked out for her.)

Finally, we have Samuel Wurzelbacher — otherwise known as Joe the Plumber — who is running for a congressional seat in Ohio. Remember him? Mr. All-American Anti-Immigrant has this to say:

 “For years I’ve said, you know, put a damn fence on the border, going to Mexico and start shooting.”.

I can’t almost can’t even comment on this except to say that only Native Americans are true Americans. Get a grip, Joe. My grandmother came in from Italy through Ellis Island. I’m an Italian-American. I know that. We’re a nation born of immigrants. Let’s get this straight. Our ancestors came here in boats and oppressed the real Americans. We’ve had a very long history of that.

If  those of you who are considering voting GOP aren’t embarrassed yet, all I have to say is “Wow!” Get a bag for your head. You can recycle it after the election.